The Close Door Buttons On Elevators Do Absolutely Nothing At All

Conspiracy theories are everywhere these days, and almost all of them are completely unfounded. No, the Moon landings werent faked. No, vaccines arent a way for the government to control population numbers. No, climate change isnt a Chinese hoax.

Actually, if any conspiracy theories are true, its the ones linked to the smallest things in life. As reported by the New York Times, if youve always been convinced that the close door buttons in elevators were nothing but a placebo, then youd be right.

The executive director of the National Elevator Industry trade group revealed last week that the close door button has been disabled on all US elevators for a considerably long time. Thanks to the Americans with Disabilities Act passed in 1990, the law requires that elevator doors remain open long enough for anyone that uses walking aids or a wheelchair to get inside safely.

As most elevators have a lifespan of around 25 years, its likely that very few still exist with working close door buttons.

Just recently, many were shocked to find out that the buttons on traffic crossings are almost always non-functional. This new announcement will only serve to exacerbate humanitys distrust in buttons.

John Kounios, a professor of psychology at Philadelphias Drexel University, told the NYT that the white lie of the close door button is harmless, as it gives us the brief illusion of control. A perceived lack of control is associated with depression, so perhaps this is mildly therapeutic, he noted.

Nevertheless, this bombshell of a revelation will likely frustrate those who have long considered elevators to be far too laissez-faire when it comes to transporting people up and down buildings.

Weve all been there. That coworker you just cant stand you know the one is speeding towards you in theelevator, where you are the sole occupant. To the left is the altruistic, empathy-inducing button that will keep the doors open. To the right is the hardline close doors button.

You ponder on it, and you decide that you really dont care if that coworker stampeding towards you has to run down a huge flight of stairs. They knocked over your coffee earlier. Now, they will reap the whirlwind.

You furiously stab the close door button with the palm of your hand, and to your dismay, you find that nothing immediately happens. Your workplace associate breathlessly dives into the elevator and thanks you for holding the doors. You fire a forced smile their way, and down you both go, your day made ever so slightly worse as a result.

For those who are a little more forgiving, youll be pleased to know that the open door buttons are fully functional.

[H/T: New York Times]

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Smart Dog Opens And Shuts Door Behind Her To Avoid Bathtime

Matt Goodwyn uploaded this video of his dog showing some impressive escaping skills. Always block the path of your chasers!

“My parents’ dog, Daisy hates baths and she really can’t stand the water hose. She’s a VERY smart dog, and figured out how to open and close the door with a little training from my parents. Now, every time the water hose comes out, Daisy immediately runs inside and slams the door behind herself.”

via: tastefullyoffensive

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This Hotel’s Housekeepers Noticed A Foul Smell And Lifted Up The Bed To Find A Body

Hotels have always given me a bit of a creepy vibe.

It’s bad enough that I can never get a good night’s sleep in any hotel bed, but every time I travel, i get this eerie sense that something’s just not right. Maybe I’ve watched “Psycho” a few too many times, but I get this weird feeling like someone is watching me sleep. Don’t even get me started on the fact that I have zero faith in hotel cleaning staff, and I’m probably sleeping on top of someone else’s dead skin, blood, and other unhygienic bodily fluids.

Gross, I know.

While my stays in some of the world’s finest hotels have left me with quite a lasting impression, I’ve never experienced the horrors that these hotel guests did when traveling through Mexico City.

For days, guests were completely oblivious to a rancid smell coming from one of the rooms at the Hotel El Senador in Mexico City.

Finally, though, housekeepers at the hotel decided that enough was enough. After the latest guests checked out of the room, they decided to get to the heart of the problem. They suspected the scent was coming from underneath the queen-sized bed.

Expecting to find moldy food left behind by a former guest, or a dead rat, they were in for quite a gruesome discovery.

Read More: An Elevator Camera Captured The Last Known Images Of A Murder Victim – You HAVE To See It

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DNCE Wants You To Be Mean In Bed According To Their New S&M Song!

Sounds like

On the steamy S&M track, the 27-year-old sings all about handcuffs and whips — a la Rihanna circa 2010! The hottie even croons about safe words!

Damn! It sure sounds like his romps can get intense! LOLz!

The new number’s sexy groove might even get you in the mood for some fierce foreplay, as Joe quite literally asks his lover to “be mean” to him!

Ch-ch-check it out (below)!

If this sultry song is a taste of the band’s upcoming, self-titled debut album, we’re sure the music world is going to get a whole lot hotter when it drops on November 18!

[Image via DNCE/Instagram.]

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After A Bad Experience With This Door, Pup Won’t Go Through It… Even For Treats

When something bad happens to us, it’s hard to face that fear again.

When I was six years old, I got stuck in an elevator. It only lasted about a minute, but for years afterward I always took the stairs.

Buddy, a golden retriever, had a terrifying experience when he ran into a glass sliding door thinking it was open. The poor guy never recovered, and now it takes a whole lot of convincing to get him to come in the house that way.

Look at him paw at the air to test and make sure it’s safe before finally getting lured inside.

Read More: This Silly Pup Can’t Seem To Make It Through The Front Door…LOL

This problem obviously isn’t all that uncommon.

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